Lasting Impressions

First of all, let me state that I hate the word “step” when describing blended family members.   I never considered myself a “step” anything as my mother’s current husband has always treated me as his own.  My father died eight years ago.  Five years ago, my mother remarried a lovely man, Elliott, whom I have known my whole life.   A close friend of the family, it was a natural progression that these two would find each other after losing their respective spouses.

I am now the primary caregiver for my mother and Elliott as all the other siblings live in other states.   Both are in assisted living, but I help with any problems that may arise.  Recently, Elliott became very ill and in the process, as of today, has taken a turn for the worse.  As all of his children scramble to get here, I took the opportunity to have some alone time with him.   Not knowing how much longer he has, I wanted to make sure that he knew the impact he had on my life.   I wanted to thank him for giving my mother the gift of a second love and companionship.   Most of all, I wanted him to know that he is loved.

As I sat at his bedside, I held his hand in mine.   I shared funny memories even though he wasn’t awake.  Every once in a while he would squeeze my hand.   His children have arrived and I have taken my place.  My place is off to the side waiting for whatever decision is made.   I have my opinions, but they have not been asked for and I respect their decisions.  I trust that they will do what is best for him. 

Grateful today that I have the strength and courage to lovingly and gracefully be at peace with his passing.   He may die today or he may linger.  All I know is that God’s timing is always perfect.  

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