Sideways

Let’s be real. We have all done it.  You know, the misdirected anger that comes out at the people that don’t deserve it.  It has been referred to as sideways anger.   I can identify with this as lately, I have been inflicting this on all the people around me.   When I try to figure out what is causing it, I am stumped because there are so many factors.   Each are contributing to the issue, but pinpointing sometimes can be difficult.  Let’s start with the obvious.   My aging mother is a factor as she is quite demanding of my time.  The noose has been loosened a bit as we have hired a caregiver, but she has certain expectations of me that are unrealistic, yet she continues to push the envelope.   Then there is the grief factor.   I wrote about this previously in regards to Bailey and grieving what I thought his life would be before his diagnosis of Down syndrome.   Okay, maybe those two things are enough.  How can I change the way I deal?

Well, for me, writing is the best therapy.   This blog is an honest and raw way for me to communicate my life.   I don’t hide behind the idea of an image.    This is who I am.  We all walk through uncomfortable times in our lives, it is how we deal with them that makes us unique.   For me, I journal, blog, and I am working on a novel that is beyond funny.  Humor gets me through and developing these outrageous characters allows me to laugh at how exaggerated life can appear.   

So, today, I will embrace that I am a little uncomfortable.  However, I know this will pass.  That’s the beauty of learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

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