The Projection

As a mother, I only want my boys to be happy.   It is with great restraint that I don’t project my opinions or advice onto them unless I am asked.  Even then, I tread lightly because in my experience, they may ask, but they really don’t want to hear it.     We often hear of those “helicopter” parents constantly micro managing their kid’s lives.   I step away from that because I honestly believe that they are capable of finding their way with minimal assistance from me.  That is until I get uncomfortable.

Yep, I am going to own something.    My youngest, Bryce, is a high school student not interested in a social life.  Part of me has a growing concern that he is missing a vital portion while not engaging.  Oh sure, he is heavily involved in school activities and a great student.  He hangs out with a group of guys during lunch, but doesn’t really partake in the whole weekend social scene.   Guess what?  He is perfectly okay with his life.  It is me that is a tad uncomfortable.   I have this weird illusion of how high school should be and I worry about him not being apart of my distorted perception.    You see how I just owned my own wacky outlook?  Yes, I am the one uncomfortable.  He is completely comfortable in his own skin.

So, that is it in a nutshell.  Those parents that project stuff onto their kids are fearful.  They are certain that if they micro manage their kids,  it will save them or give them an experience they would have missed.  It is a pretty scary cycle of unwanted advice coupled with an intense need for it to work out their way.

The beauty is I have the awareness.  Bryce is not suffering, he is thriving.   He has immersed himself in the his own high school experience, not mine. Amazingly enough, he still wants to hang out with me.  That is ridiculously cool.  I have put the brakes on my distorted outlook and instead insist on basking in the realization that he is just fine.  In fact, he is happy and that is all I really want him to be.

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