The Illusion

For many, many years, my attitude was rooted within the attitudes of other people.  I gave away my power and became a hostage to the them.   One day, a little voice said to me, “why are you giving them so much power?”.  It was a realistic question.

When I started my job writing a column for our local paper, I would read the comment section after the article was posted online.  It was almost always a litany of negative words strung together to create a tornado of emotions within me.  Why was I such a glutton for punishment?    Just because they call my writing crap, doesn’t mean it is crap.   However, their words clung to me like sweat on a hot day.  They drained me and made me questions my self-worth.   My mother, with her keen perception, would always say that any publicity is good – negative or positive.

So, I got off the hamster wheel and have realized that no one is that powerful.   I am not defined by what others think or feel.   There are always going to be the “haters”.  It’s funny, really, that we can remember all the hateful or negative experiences, but those that lift us up are lost in the cloud of toxicity.  We replay them over and over again, which continues to ignite their spark……elevating their power and worth.  It is an illusion really.  The quicker they are released, the faster they dissipate.   I am not completely immuned to opinions of others, but the process to let it go is quicker.   Life is too short to confine my attitude to the limited view that others have of me.

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