I have come to a point in my life where silence is my best weapon. This is a hard task to undertake since I hardly like to pause when agitated, but I find in a variety of situations, this works wonders.
Recently, I was invited out to dinner. It was an eclectic group of ladies. This ensemble included several individuals that I had encountered a separation of sorts due to a tear in our relationship. Loving from a distance has served many wonderful purposes, but the biggest one is that if the relationship is repairable, time will bring it together. No amends needed as I have been silent. I didn’t abruptly spew my thoughts all over the place which would only compound the problem. The dinner was lovely, aside from the passive-aggressive comments from my dinner partner to my right.
Now, to be fair, I will not say who the individual was, but she is in the classification of one of my biggest “tool testers”. If anyone could make me react, it would be this individual. Since I am barely one month shy of my recent surgery, this was a big outing for me. I was nervous as sitting for long periods of time can make my new knee a tad cranky. The evening started out lovely with a great deal of celebration due to one of the ladies recently recovering from a serious heart surgery followed by a small stroke. Then the real fun began.
I am not going into specifics of the comments made to me while dining, but I will say that I was proud of the way I handled myself. Keeping silent is powerful. While this person was hurling a variety of colorful comments, I remained serene. That is not to say that when I got home, I didn’t share the experience with my husband, but I am wise enough to know that it was her stuff. The words, actions, and anything else an individual shares is a reflection of them and only them. It isn’t personal. Although, sometimes it certainly feels like it is.
What I do know is that there is no reason to address this type of behavior with this individual as she will not own it. In fact, in past experience, she has inferred that I simply am making it up. So, I am quiet. Loving from a distance certainly gives me the power to protect myself from unwanted and unhealthy situations. Silence is golden.