Empty Space

There are those moments where I get impatient and want life to speed up.  I want to see where I am going to end it, if my dreams will come true, but mostly, because I lack the ability to just soak up where I am currently residing.   For the last fifteen years, I have been on a quest to reinvent myself.    I have a good foundation, but there is always room for improvement.

Like a recipe for a decadent dessert, there are a list of ingredients in order to make it appealing to others.   It wasn’t as if I weren’t appealing, but there were definite signs that a shift was needed to accomplish the goal……being the best version of me.

In the last week, I have been floundering.   Navigating motherhood with a teenager and a special needs adult is a challenge.  Both are wanting to spread their wings and both are in transition.  Hell, we are all in transition.   While the mother thing has been a series of blunders, I acknowledge that I am human.  I am not a superhero, but a messy, quirky, middle-aged woman who is still trying to figure out how to parent.

It isn’t just parenting, but life.   Even at the ripe age of 49, there is still so much to be revealed about my journey.    I feel like I am on the cusp of something amazing, but it doesn’t unfold overnight and there is a reward for my willingness to wait.

It is all about accepting the progress, forgetting the perfection, and celebrating shedding the layers that prevented you from being the best version of yourself.

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