My First Best Friend

As a child, I would spent endless hours playing with my Fisher-Price toys which later progressed into a Barbie frenzy.   Often, this time was spent alone not because I didn’t have any friends, but simply because I enjoyed my own company.  While I still enjoy alone time, I have realized that there were some years sandwiched between dealing with active alcoholism, that I lost that friend…..me.

The passage of time during those years resulted in berating myself over everything.  Even with almost fifteen years of a 12-step program, I am aware that I can still hold myself accountable for everything even if I don’t have a part.   Why are we so hard on ourselves?   Maybe it is because we set ourselves up for failure with our unrealistic expectations.  We wouldn’t treat our friends that way, so why is it appropriate that we rake ourselves over the coals?

There is a balance.   The fine line that you walk in complete acceptance of yourself.   It is a process and further complicated by our own sense of not being good enough.  So, in the spirit of being thankful, today I will accept myself. Be grateful for my existence in this vast world and  I will treat myself just as I would treat any one of my empowering friends.   You can’t be in a state of gratitude if the first person you can’t accept – flaws and all – is yourself.

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