The Post-It

Bailey wants to move out of our home.   I get it.  He is twenty-one and ready to be a full-fledged adult.   Why in the world would he want to do that?   Anyway, we have been in limbo because he won’t comply with some of the rules of the house.  For example, going to bed at a reasonable time on work nights.   Granted, Bailey is a night owl, but the problem lies in the lack of energy for his job the next day.   I have been nice until I wasn’t.    All the tricks in my bag that used to work with him are lame.   Time to up my game.

So, Sunday while the three of us were eating dinner and Bryce was at work, I raised the bar on my kid.  Yes, I negotiated and we came to an agreement.    My terms were simple…….comply with the rules which is simply 10:30 bedtime on work nights.  This compliance includes surrendering electronics and having everything completed by 10:30 pm.  Not 10:35 or 11:00, which is standard practice for Bailey as he LOVES to push the envelope. (I have learned that just because he has Down syndrome doesn’t mean he isn’t working his own agenda.)  In return, in a year, we will revisit his request to move out and live on his own.   The post-it is dated November 27, 2017 and is visible to all on our refrigerator.

While I don’t know if he will be ready by then or if we will for that matter, our willingness to compromise and treat him as an adult is a step in the right direction.  It is so difficult to separate his age from his development stage, that sometimes it becomes murky.  Bailey is capable of being independent, but is stubborn (like his father), and doesn’t take direction well.   Okay, in full disclosure, it is possible that my “directions” can come off as “orders”.    Whatever……the point is, we have worked hard and he has succeeded in most everything he has set his sights on, so living independently is just another step he is working hard to accomplish.   Our job is to guide him and maybe up my game in the bag of tricks department.  There is part of me that wishes he would live with us forever…….just kidding.

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