A Beautiful Gift

I feel like forgiveness is under used.  That we hold onto that allowance of simply letting go…..letting go of the other person’s actions, words, etc., as a way to punish.  Who is really being punished in this scenario?

The act of forgiveness isn’t easy.   When I am hurt, my first instinct is to cling to it until it suffocates me.  It took me a long time to realize that by forgiving I am releasing myself.  It is more for me than for the other person.  Did you know that you don’t have to even like or have a relationship with the person in question in order to forgive?  Forgiving isn’t making allowances for their actions.  It isn’t an opening for them to continue to act in a way that is harmful to you.  It is merely a form of self-love.

When I first entered the rooms of Alanon on the heels of my spouse’s entrance into his recovery program, I was introduced to a foreign concept……forgiving myself.   I had never thought that my actions could be harmful to me.    While it wasn’t an overnight, fairy Godmother moment, it did shed some light on my patterns of behavior.   If I can’t forgive myself, then how can I forgive others?

Forgiveness frees me from being an emotional hostage.   And while it is a catalyst for moving forward, it also formulates an opportunity to be grateful for the experience.  All are teachable moments and I am still a novice student.

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