Even Playing Field

Tonight’s dinner resembled a congressional negotiation – or what I think it might look like – with eye rolling and tantrums even though we (Bryce and I) were on the same page.  Arguments are never what they seem.   At the end of everything, Bryce walked away from the table saying, “It is always about the Down syndrome kid.”

That took my breath away, yet it is really true.  Nothing is an even playing field for these two accomplished boys.   Bryce knows that, but still it fragments my heart when I hear those words.   My family is far from perfect.   We have divisions that cause discord.  It is natural.  So, why does it make me so emotional?  It’s simple…..Bailey needs me more than Bryce….in every part of his life.

Well, I never want any of my children to feel less than.    The reality is that even with typical children, you can’t make everything even.    You can try, but it will make you insane.  Every child has different needs, want, goals, desires, so trying to make sure everyone is balanced is like walking a tight rope.

Being a Mom sucks sometimes.   It sends you to the emotional trenches where you question every single decision that you have made or going to make.  In a nutshell, this isn’t for sissies.  I just want my boys to be happy.   It is nights like this that remind me that my work is far from over and that I need to wipe my tears away and put on my big girl panties.  After all, we are all doing the best we can.

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