I have a tendency to bite my tongue in situations that require me to advocate for myself. My reluctant cooperation ends up gnawing at my insides because I haven’t been true to whom I am and what I represent. I made an unspoken agreement with myself recently that entails speaking up if I am put in a situation where my voice needs to be heard. I have no problem advocating for my special needs son, but when it comes to myself, that is a different story.
Now, to clarify, my truth sharing is composed with kind verbiage that expresses my stance without being a bitch. I have had two opportunities to try out my new agreement with myself. While both were different scenarios, they each represented an angle where I felt that without sharing, I was compromising my core beliefs.
I never want to be complacent. I don’t want to be that person that shakes their head, smiles, and acts as if what is happening is okay. I don’t have to be mean or rude, but I do have to honor myself. Have I been scared of the reaction? Of course, but their reaction is really not my issue. I am not responsible for how they think or feel.
One of the situations occurred when I was working with a woman in regards to a substantial credit that was due to me from a medical billing company. She was doing a wonderful job with her customer service and not to bore you with this long story, but there was reason to believe that she wasn’t being completely honest or quite possibly, just wasn’t informed. So, I reached out to her boss with the explanation that her employee was doing a great job, but I felt the situation warranted some additional help in achieving the goal in getting my money back to me. I showed up for myself.
The reality is I mean no harm or malice when I speak my truth. I am simply taking care of myself. I have to be my own advocate which sometimes requires me to speak up and be uncomfortable doing so. After all, if we don’t advocate for ourselves, who will?