The Process

Of course, I would never poke fun at my adoring husband, unless it is warranted.  The reality is, he isn’t going to do anything with the subject matter, so as a writer, I only feel it is my obligation to share.  It is my gift to the universe.

I am certain that women can agree that men fall short on the self-care portion when it comes to going to doctors.   The notion of “if I ignore it, then it will disappear” seems to be a thread that unites the male species.  I hate to generalize, but that is my experience.  Case in point, my spouse.  He is a funny, generous, smart, and a very kind man, but he is stubborn.    He would certainly ignore symptoms rather than address them.   One time, he was having chest pains and told me he was going to take a nap…..true story.  I insisted we go to the ER and sure enough, he had a stent put in and was told that he would eventually have had a heart attack.   (I can’t even try to make this shit up.)

Today, I accompanied him to his Endocrinologist…..by the way, SHE is delightful.  It is always beneficial when the doctor is a women.  They listen, take their time, and are thoughtful in the solution to any given problem.     This is the first time I had met her since he was diagnosed with diabetes eight years ago.   We chatted, I voiced my concern, we talked some more and then when she left the room to get some samples, I told my spouse that I adore her.   He chuckled and basically said that I couldn’t come back as she was only talking to me.   Well, women bond what can I say.

Here is the deal…….I adore my husband.  I want him to be healthy, happy, and be his own advocate.   I don’t monitor him as for as his healthcare.  He is a grown man.  However, I am willing to go with him to the doctor IF he is open to that.   After all, he is competent, just slow in the process.

Men are wired differently.   They choose to ignore the big stuff, but a little cold will have them curl up in the fetal position.   It is what it is and it won’t change, but today, I am grateful that my spouse is willing to allow me to partner with him on his healthcare needs. I don’t have to take anything on that isn’t mine, but in cases that warrant additional information,  I am up for the task.

All is well from the visit.  We are tweaking some things.   Brian owns his various physical ailments, but doesn’t allow it to define him.   He is just a slow learner and forgets really fast.  All that testosterone peppered with being human has its limitations.

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