In The Dark

I think my Higher Power has a bit of a quirky sense of humor.   As I am navigating this new process of figuring out what I want to do next, the road I am on seems to resemble a maze.  Just when I seem to have clarity, my instincts rise up and declare, “nope, that isn’t it” and then I immerse myself in a pool of uncertainty.

In the past, I would have impulsively committed myself to something just to avoid being uncomfortable.    Then I would have been miserable because I had settled and not waited for the better fit.   Today, I am not willing to settle, so I am on a mission of dabbling.   Trying things here and there to see what fits.    There is no deadline for my exploration.   I think that is the beauty of allowing the process to unfold organically.   Do I want instantaneous results?  Absolutely, but I guess I can wait for whatever is in store to happen in its own time.

After processing this out loud, my wise seventeen year old reminded me that life isn’t fair and that maybe this portion is merely an episode to a bigger project.   He is so wise as he reminded me that it isn’t something he made up, but that I say it to him.   Gee, my boy listens to me.  That in itself is miraculous.

So, I have time to ponder what I really want to do.  That sounds so luxurious and divinely mature.    Pausing seems to be an excellent answer and next week I will be at the beach, so the timing couldn’t be more aligned.

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