Wavering

I wouldn’t classify myself as a petty person.  Possibly, I am more cautiously vengeful with a sprinkle of conscience.     With my change of employment, I have walked through a litany of emotions.   When it comes to revenge, I find that living my best life is simply the best form, but this morning, I am having a cage match fight with my the small devil that resides within me.

Part of me dealing with my change of venue was to cancel the subscription that I had.  God’s sense of humor is somewhat twisted in that I have literally not been able to cancel it.    There seems to be a block of communication that the individuals on the other end don’t understand that concept of “I don’t want this delivered to my house anymore” .   So, this morning, the paper was lying on my porch.      I am truly not a mean-spirited individual, so I will say that the article was good.  Weird not seeing my name associated with it, but that is a process that I am quickly walking through and regaining purpose with my new writing position.     What I noticed was that still linked to the article were my Twitter and Facebook platforms.

Now, when I started that job, it was prior to the boom of social media.   I cultivated the platforms and gradually improved the following.    It took several years to increase the numbers, but once I did it was effortless.   So, on my last day, I switched both Twitter and Facebook to reflect my new endeavors.     I am not going to lie, when I saw that, I did get a sense of satisfaction since neither one exists anymore.    The evil within wants to keep that to myself and let the chips fall where they may.  However, there is the overwhelming Catholic guilt that is begging me to contact the powers that be to let them in on my little secret.   There is some amusement that they will have to recreate the wheel on this one.   After all, I am human.

So, I will do the next right thing.   It is part of my spiritual journey not to harbor those toxic feelings that do more damage to me.    Hindsight is that I was given a gift.   So, in order to truly show my gratitude I have to resolve this.  It is the ceremonial letting go of the past by letting them in on my secret.      The action will be taken after I stop laughing.

 

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