Staying In My Lane

Sometimes the lines between a married couple are blurred.  It is the whole where does one person end and the other one begin.    My spouse has been suffering for a while with some stomach issues that have procured numerous tests and various medications.   Currently, we are waiting on the results from a test done last week and while we have an idea of the culprit, we still don’t have a game plan.

Now, with all of that being said, I don’t understand how his brain works.    If I were suffering all of the time, I certainly wouldn’t be layering my food with hot sauce.   To me, that is just poking the bear, but this man, whom I adore, is in the mindset that he is going to “enjoy” this because he is certain that they are going to tell him he can no longer have it.  His idea of enjoyment is vastly different from mine.  Enjoying something doesn’t mean grimacing in pain after I partake in the item I am suppose to be enjoying. (My eyes roll so much anymore that I wonder if they will eventually roll out of my sockets and drop to the floor.)

Because my husband also has additional health issues (diabetes, heart, high blood pressure, the list goes on), our refrigerator is stocked with items that are healthy.   So, there are many days where I hear “there is nothing to eat” when I have literally just gone to the store.   What he is really saying is “where are my Frito scoops and french onion dip?”.

I am in the mindset that he is a grown man and whatever he decides to put in his body is totally his business.   The unfortunate part is watching someone you love suffer and know that he is contributing to it in some form or fashion.   Just another thing I am powerless over as he is in charge of his own health.

I laughed this morning and rolled my eyes (do you see the pattern?) as I opened the pantry where I spotted a bag of Frito scoops. The bag laughed at me, mocking my mantra of “I won’t be buying unhealthy food, so if you want it, you need to purchase it yourself,”.

I joke that I have three children, but the reality is that my spouse is in charge of his own health protocol.  Do I agree with his process?  Hell, no!   But, I am willing to allow him the dignity and respect of navigating this terrain himself.    Will I still eye roll and mutter things to myself under my breath?  Probably.    It is simply his lesson to learn.

It is a good reminder for me to stay in my lane.    If I repeat myself more than once, then I am becoming a nagger.   Since I am a recovering nagger, I am striving to simply keep my mouth shut and allow those around me to live their lives as they see fit.    That, my friends, is progress.

 

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