The Jolt

Last year, we got a king size bed.  I was resistant as I am with most things because I felt like we didn’t need it, but my spouse was adamant.   Maybe it was the reality that two Basset hounds occupied a good chunk of real estate and that it truly was a glorified dog bed with two human who happen to have a small section.    Now, I love my bed…..most nights.

Sleep is a delicate process.   Last night, as we settled in, the complaint department had apparently not closed.  First it was, “there is never any room for me”, which is a lie because one Basset – Daisy – was lying on the floor while Presley was in the middle of the bed.  I offered to move Presley, to which he declined.   Things quieted down and I was on the verge.  You know how when you drift off to sleep there is that lovely land of limbo where you are so relaxed?   It is a delightful experience until there is a sound.   The sound that I heard resembled a sonic bomb, but it was just my husband releasing excess air from the area he usually uses for sitting.    Brian’s release process involves a lot of drama.  Drama that I particularly don’t need while trying to get to sleep.

It happened several more times, but alas, sleeping beauty was oblivious.    Sleeping with another person is the perfect example of torture.   Seriously, if someone needed to get secrets out of me, all they would have to do is to put me with someone who complains and is overly dramatic when farting, every time I am almost asleep.  I would spill everything they would ever want to know.     Thank God he has his machine that ceases any snoring.  That ingredient was another added torturous experience.

As much as I adore my husband, the sleeping experience can create some friction.  Oh yes, I do have a sound machine that annoys him and supposedly I snore, but other than that I am a delight.    It is all in your perspective.   I am sure he has a wildly different account and maybe if he had a blog he could share it.  All you have is mine and I am pretty sure it is accurate.   Did I tell you about his machine blowing air out and it is like a wind tunnel?   That’s for another blog.

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