Fitting In

With the career transition that I have been in, I am jockeying for position.  Trying to figure out where I fit in and adjusting to a new way of doing this.   I have been inundating one of my editors with idea after idea along with “I know you are busy, but” semantics that it is a wonder she hasn’t lost her mind.

In my defense, I have spent the last ten years cultivating a column.   I found the homes, scheduled the shoots, wrote my articles and sent them in well before deadline.  It was the perfect setup.   So, now in my new position, I am navigating, positioning, and trying to fit into a spot that isn’t as clear cut as the previous one.

Here is the beauty about perspective.   Depending on where I am emotionally/spiritually, I can either accept the current situation or allow my ego to get very offended.   In this case, it was both.   I appreciate a straightforward approach with authenticity and that is what I received.   At first, I read the email and became sad.  It was the inner pity party of the little girl who was scolded because she didn’t know the rules of the game.  Then after I made a list of what I perceived the words meant versus what was actually said , I was in a better place to receive the nuggets of wisdom offered to me.   It is all in the shift.

You see, I need to wait, be patient and allow things to unfold organically instead of trying to force something that just won’t be feasible.    But, isn’t there a freedom in knowing that I am not in charge of the destination?   Someone else is taking the wheel and will let me know of our arrival.   It isn’t that my ideas aren’t welcome or valued.    It isn’t that I am not a part of a team effort.  But rather, it is a marathon and I have sprinted ahead.  In order for me to be of any help, I need to slow down and wait for direction.  I will be honest, it is an adjustment, but my new landscape is fresh and vibrant, so the view is a whole lot brighter.  Maybe I will simply stop resisting and melt into my new reality.

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