I was under the assumption that if I was in a place of acceptance that I had to like the situation, but I am finding that isn’t the case. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like it, it simply means that you have come to terms with it. This is especially important when dealing with difficult individuals. When the focus becomes me, I know that something is happening much deeper with them….and vice-versa. The days of trying to accommodate someone else’s unrealistic expectations are over.
Yesterday, I was talking to my mom over a situation that she was struggling with and wanted my take on it. The only thing that I said was, “Stop doing things that you simply don’t want to do. You have choices.” She chuckled and responded, “How did you get so smart?” The answer to that is years of living a life for other people instead of myself. That is the trap. Stop trying to please everyone. The illusion that people pleasing will lead to happiness is crap. It simply will lead you down the road of resentment.
I didn’t realize I had choices. While making decisions that are best for me might not make me popular with others, I know that really isn’t any of my business. I am not responsible for other people’s reactions. Life is too short to be caught up in a web of expectations.
Later in the evening, my mom called me back to tell me she took my advice and that she already felt better. I love that. I love that at the age of 85, she is making decisions that make her happy and not worrying about what others might think about it. At the end of my life, I want to look back and smile because I didn’t allow other people to dim my light.