The word forgiveness means something completely different than it did to me, say, twenty years ago. Maybe it’s because I have walked through some pretty difficult situations. More than likely, I have a new set of eyes courtesy of lessons learned. After a conversation with someone that I like to refer to as one of my “tool testers”, I realized that it is no longer important that this individual understand me or where I am coming from. That is where forgiveness comes to play.
When I struggle with a relationship, I get to a point of forgiveness. It means I no longer want to participate with meaningless exchanges that result in hashing out the same situation over and over again. It means that I honor that everyone has their own perception and their right to it. It means that I gain peace and closure. The beauty is the other person doesn’t have to be at the same place. They can spin and spin repeating their same behavior, but I don’t have to engage. That is when I give myself a high-five of doing it differently.
I haven’t perfected the art, but when I invite God into the conversation, it is amazing how differently it goes. Even when the other person tells me they have talked to others about me and they all agree that I am wrong, I can still come to a place of forgiveness. You see, I am not here to win the popular vote. My happiness isn’t contingent on what others think about me. I am living the life that God gave me. It isn’t perfect, but it sure is pretty awesome and forgiveness grants me the ability to fill it with serenity. That takes away the power of any difficult situation.