Time

Those who don’t know me, are probably wondering why I chose this particular photo to correlate with my blog.  Well, that photo was taken last year, during a heated rivalry football game where Bryce is the student manager for the winning team.  I carry “Fathead Bryce” around to show my support for him, which annoys him to no end, but gives me oodles of pleasure.  I am sharing all of this for a reason.  Today, he is getting his senior pictures taken.  Yes, time has escaped or has it?

While sometimes I question the speed of time, I realize that actually my perception might be skewed.   After all, isn’t this what parenting is about?  Parenting isn’t a sprint, it is a marathon.  A marathon that I wasn’t exactly rested for as Bryce decided sleeping wasn’t essential the first three years of his life.  But, here we are.   Three months shy of his 18th birthday, college visits, decisions, excitement, and a touch of anxiety…….for both of us.    Change isn’t easy, but it always reveals something even better. At least that is my experience.

My opportunity to not project into the future is here.   To not think of life without him on an everyday basis.   To allow him to explode into the real world loaded with everything we have given him to be prepared for the next chapter of his life.     The time is here to be present.  Absorb each and every moment.   Sure, there will be a stream of tears shed.  Sure, there will be some sadness, but oh how proud I am of this boy!    That will be it….the pride.  Sometimes I am literally bursting with it, until he and his hormones annoy me, then it subsides.

I am not the mother who wishes their children were little again.  I am not the mother who wants to go back in time.  No, I am the mother who is enjoying the process of watching.  Seeing him be successful, to struggle and figure out the solution on his own, to advocate for himself, but most of all, to step outside of the box occasionally.   This is the moment we have spent almost 18 years preparing for and I am ready to see what happens next.

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