Curious

Awhile ago, I wrote a blog about this very subject and I think it is appropriate once again. Part of my growth opportunity is to remember that fear shuts out the light.  When I am fearful, I tend to want to retreat and think about the worst case scenarios.  Curiosity allows me to just be in a state of wonder…….”I wonder how this will turn out.” versus “Oh my God, I am so afraid of this situation and the outcome.”.   It really does energetically change my body dynamic.  With fear, my stomach is clenched, my breath is shallow, and my head is swimming with all of the thoughts of what could go wrong.   With curiosity, I am at peace, my breath is deep and expansive, and I am able to allow whatever is suppose to be, to simply be.

Curiosity is what confirms my belief that all is really well.    Whether the outcome is to my liking or the exact opposite, this new concept fills me with a sense of well-being.  Now, it isn’t an exact science.  I am not some guru because left to my own devices and my incredible cunning ego, I can easily switch to the other side where I am completely consumed by whatever is going on.   My ego isn’t a reliable comrade.   My ego is a secret spy that usually leads me into the wrong direction.   It wants to protect me and while that may have served a purpose years ago, today it just isn’t the place that I wish to reside.

So, like a child who is curious about the world around them, I, too, am resorting to a new found curiosity that will eliminate the darkness of fear.     I know there is the urge of control.  That if I do A-B-C-D, the situation will turn out like I want it to.  What I know is that God has this plan and I am suppose to trust in the process.   I can do all the next right things, but I also need to simply get out of the way.  One hundred percent of the time if I involve myself, I become part of the problem and not the solution.   I want to be a part of the solution, so I need to recuse myself.  I need to not engage in chaos or drama.  But mostly, I just need to be curious.

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