Sitting On The Edge

“Bryce has news.” This is the text I read after an evening of dealing with my mother while the rest of my family attended Trinity’s football scrimmage.   I always say that vague disclaimers are no one’s friend, so I respond back asking if the news was good.  He responds yes.   So, knowing that there is news floating in the universe that will not be revealed to me until the morning as he would be arriving home long after I would be asleep, leaves me intrigued and annoyed.  Annoyed at my spouse who dangles the carrot in front of me and all the while, he already knows what the hell is going on.

So, the next morning, Bryce stumbles into the living room.  Half asleep, he sits down and is silent.  Good grief!   So, I ask about his news.   He haphazardly shares that he got an email saying that he was accepted in Western Kentucky University.   First, I am giddy as I went there, loved it, and am completely emotionally attached to it.  Second, I am confused at the lack of enthusiasm, but then I remember, he is male.    I say, “Oh my!  That’s amazing.  Are you excited?”   He responds, “Well, I knew I would get in, so not really.”   Sigh……I guess when your test scores are good and your GPA is high, you can be indifferent.   I, on the other hand, was all smiles because this is our first step into his next phase.

Quite possibly, my exuberance lies in the fact that this is our first and only experience.   College wasn’t on our radar with Bailey.  When I thought about that yesterday, there was a heart tug.   There is always going to be grief residue when it comes to walking through these milestones with Bryce knowing that Bailey won’t have the same opportunity.    It doesn’t linger, but I acknowledge it.

Later, he finished his application to the University of Kentucky that included an essay.   He chose to write about stepping out of his comfort zone and how that has helped create an unique high school experience.  (Truth be told, he asked me to help with the structure, wording, oh hell, I helped him write his masterpiece.  It was really good in my unbiased opinion.)   With a click of a button, he has officially applied to the only two schools he is remotely interested in, which really makes the process easy.   During this time, I can exude excitement for the both of us.  After all, I am simply the passenger.

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