I have this aggravating trait that makes me want to control everyone and everything around me. My delusional thinking tells me that in order for me to be okay, I must manage everyone else. That has never worked. With fifteen years in a spiritual recovery program, I know better. That is until fear walks in and takes me hostage.
When I was ranting this morning about a million issues that have nothing to do with me, my spouse reminded me that none of it is mine. Nothing outside of me can be controlled. I am not that powerful. Although there are days when I think I am. When I am in the mode of feeling everything is unmanageable, I resort back to the things I can control. Yesterday, I got out of myself by volunteering. One of my closest friends asked me last week if I wanted to go with her and I immediately said yes. It mini-sized my own issues.
Meditation has always been a powerful tool for me, so yesterday I did a mindful, active one while putting critter food out for all my furry friends that visit our backyard. Just call me “menopausal Snow White”. While volunteering, I focused on the task versus anything outside of that moment. It was all about being present.
I have no idea what the future holds. My crystal ball broke when I was trying to clean the house, which is why I have decided that cleaning is so overrated. I do know that God has it all figured out and all I need to do is show up. So, today, I will remember that my job is to focus on me. Everything else is being handled. All is well even I feel it isn’t.