Humoring My Humanness

I am a detailed organizer.   My calendar is methodically kept.   I usually know what is going on the following day without even looking.  I pride myself on this trait.  Yesterday, I knew I had a lunch meeting at Bryce’s school.   I arrived in a prompt fashion greeting people I knew, checking in at the front desk, and moving into the board room.   The room was empty and dark.   Then I started to question myself.   Was it cancelled?  Are they running late?    I checked back in at the front desk only to find out I have shown up on the wrong day.    Actually, I was late by twenty-four hours.

As I left,  feeling somewhat embarrassed and berating myself for being human, I realized that this has happened to me only a couple of times in my adult life.   As I overthink and analyze this really trite situation, I realize the issue.    The issue was how it would look to other people.    You see, I am a person who values true commitment.   So, when I fail to honor that, it wrecks havoc with my self-esteem.     It also comes down to being mindful.

So, yesterday, I got to laugh at myself.   After I worked through my self-esteem issues, I decided that by taking myself too seriously, it doesn’t leave much room for being human. Sometimes I am going to show up on the wrong day or forget to pick up my kid. (I was five minutes late only because I forgot they got out at 2 instead of 3.  It was Bryce’s freshman year.  He and Bailey will never let me forget it.)     The world is still revolving and I am positive this won’t be the last time for me to embrace my humanness.

 

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