I think it is safe to say that the month of November signifies gratitude. In the past, I wasn’t attuned to having an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, but life events have shifted that for me. Gratitude is the first ingredient of my day along with a cup of coffee and the realization that even the biggest obstacles are stuffed with blessings.
This morning I was pondering what I was being pulled to write about, when I felt a touch of anger. Residue actually from a situation that happened years ago, but rears its ugly head sometimes. The person that inflicted the hurt has long since made amends, but there were other parties that still get enjoyment over what I would consider one of the most painful and humiliating experiences in my life. So what do I do with that? Well, the human response that is sprinkled with revenge would be to hurt them back. That isn’t who I am today or most days, but that is dependent on my mood. Instead, I allow myself to feel it and then have gratitude that I can see the past with an unobstructed view. I can realize that these individuals simply don’t have the tools to do it differently. They aren’t capable of seeing how someone else’s actions or even their own can inflict pain because they themselves are in tremendous discomfort. In the end, it was never about me. That’s the lesson.
It is so easy to be grateful for all the goodness in my life, but the challenge is embracing the difficulties. The ones that test, teach, and even hurt me. Those are the ones that before I say, “thank you for that experience”, I might say, “are you fucking kidding me?”, but then move on to what the situation has to offer me. I have to be thankful for the good, the bad, and the ugly because how else can I build my spiritual muscles? Viewing those who thrive on the pain of others as an example of what I don’t want to be is the motivation that drives me.