The Conclusion

I feel like every year is similar to a chapter in a book.  The only difference is that I can’t revise that chapter.  There is no editing, it is simply done.   But, the next chapter has the scent of a fresh beginning.   A chance to anticipate all the ebbs and flows of a new year.

I won’t say that I was excited about 2017.   This was the year I would turn 50, but that really hasn’t been the highlight or a low point.  And honestly, my low points have been tremendous eye-openers which have facilitated a surprising outlook.  This year, I visited places that I had only dreamed about or seen in some random book.   I walked the path of those who suffered in the Holocaust.  I touched the water where miracles have been documented.   I watched my youngest immerse himself in the culture as we traveled abroad. I got married again – for the third time – reaffirming to my spouse that I am glad we are walking through life together.   Then the awareness of fifty sunk in and I reevaluated my health and embraced my body as a friend instead of the enemy.    Learning to invite a different way of thinking which involves eliminating self-deprecating language.

This is the year I lost my job of ten years.   I grieved it like a family member.  When I started, I had no idea what I was doing.   At the age of 39, this was my first consistent writing gig.  It was the best of everything.  Meeting wonderful people, who many are now friends, along with seeing amazing homes, and learning an industry that always seemed like a far off dream.   But, then abruptly it was gone.   While I processed the loss, there were soft places to land.  People wanting me to write for them.  Which, was surprising since sometimes I have trouble with believing I am a decent writer.  My ego was soothed by the attention since it had been quite bruised by the dismissal.   I sat in the space that now is a little leaner and took the time to simply breathe.  God knew I was done before I did and for that, I am grateful.

We all find that the new year tends to make us hopeful.   But, I am mindful to set my expectations to a more realistic degree and anticipate that all that will occur is within the plans that God has for me.   There will be lessons, opportunities, sadness, bliss, along with a collection of other experiences blended in to make 2018 unique.   I believe every year I am breathing is a good one.   Looking forwarding to continuing living my best life in 2018.

 

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