Since January, I have been haphazardly reading a book about detoxing from judgement. It was my intent to embed that into my spiritual practice of being a better person. Suffice it to say, I have only read three chapters. Here is my issue……I am judging the book. First, of all, there are all these steps in order to get to a place of peace – virtually leaving judgement at the door. I can’t seem to immerse myself in the practice. And sometimes, I feel almost justified in my judgement. Maybe I need to put that book aside until I am ready to practice what the author is preaching.
Here is my deal. If I judge, then I instantly berate myself for that judgement which leads to self-judgement. It is a wicked cycle. Yesterday, I had an experience in a group setting where the communication has taken its leave. Too many people trying to be in charge, yet nobody really wants the actual “job” of doing so. Frustration over the entire situation infiltrated my serenity and I tuned out what others were sharing simply because of the battle within me. That is where the whole issue starts. As I sat there with my eyes closed trying to regain my balance, I focused on what about the situation that makes me so annoyed. That the real issue lies within the group and some select personalities. All I can do is be apart of the solution instead of contributing to the problem.
Maybe some of that book did seep into my combated brain. Although, I can’t imagine my life without judgement, there might be room to let in more tolerance and acceptance. I can’t control the current conditions, but I can show up, do my part, and let the rest unfold organically.