The Navigator

I should have woken up this morning with a feeling of peace and gratitude. After all, it is Easter.  A time to celebrate the risen Lord and chocolate.  But, instead, I was annoyed and frustrated which made me lean more toward the April Fool’s component of the day.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that I had brought the wrong filters for the coffee maker.  Perhaps it was because I haven’t worked out in three days and I feel like an Oompa-loompa with all the fast food we have consumed.   Quite possibly it is simply feeling that things aren’t going my way.  Then I have to roll my eyes at myself because for the love of God, I am at the beach.   How much going my way do I need?

You will be pleased to know that the coffee maker made one decent cup.  How?  I am not sure but because I am a selfless person (no comments from the peanut gallery), I sacrificed that cup to my beloved spouse then proceeded to bitch about the coffee maker.   Since I talk about being apart of the solution and try to follow that advice, I decided to head out to Starbucks then go to the grocery store to get new coffee filters and the waffles that we forgot from last night’s adventure at the same store.   With a navigation system in place, it appears that I know where I am going.  That would be a mirage.  I simply follow the voice in the GPS hoping she isn’t leading me to a isolated place to murder me.

When I arrive at Starbucks, I practically hug the speaker and beg for the boldest coffee on tab (I know I am hilarious).    After my new best friend, aka the boldest coffee on the planet, is safely in my hand, I feel like I am going to survive and head to Winn-Dixie hoping no one remembers me from last night.   Brian’s new car has limited storage, so I couldn’t bring my cooler backed with the basics.   When we arrived, it was the day-before-Easter-hell with crowds of people shopping.    You can always tell that most are tourists because instead of looking down at their phones, they are focused on the signs for each aisle since they have no idea where they are going.  Both are equally dangerous.   We finished and the lines to the checkout where you actually deal with a human were incredibly long, so my adorable spouse chose the self-checkout.   Our cart was full, so you can only imagine the chaos that ensued.   The computer lady basically told us to “fuck off”.  Okay, she was nicer than that since she kept reminding us to put our bags back in the bagging area, but since we had so much, it was necessary to move things off in order to make room.   I knew it was a bad idea, but you can’t tell “Mr. Impatience” that when he is focused on getting the hell out there.    Meanwhile, the line for the self-checkout multiplied and I was convinced that there was going to be a riot and we would be to blame.    So, when I approached the scene of the crime this morning, I was hoping that the delightful computer generated voice would not tell me to get the hell away from her.  I managed to get out of there without her screaming at me.

So, my first day of vacation seems more like April Fool’s than Easter, but I imagine that as the caffeine permeates my veins, I will exhale.    Being grateful is a state of mind and sometimes, it takes me a bit to get there.   But, I ALWAYS get there and that is a true gift.

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