Obsessive

Even though I am in a place of sun and sand, I can get a little obsessed if I hear about circumstances beyond my control aka the weather.    I remember April 3, 1974 when Louisville became ground zero after a tornado ripped through our city.  As a seven year old just getting home from school, the memories are vivid as we could see the twisting destruction heading our way.    My Mom, sister and myself ran to the basement where we repeated the “Hail Mary” prayer over and over again.  I remember the sound, but most of all I remember the fear.   Fear of what we would see emerging from our dwelling of safety.  Fear for my Dad since he was still at work.     It was paralyzing.  So I instantly am led to that feeling when destructive weather is a factor in the forecast.

The irony is today is April 3 and Louisville is the stage for the “perfect storm” including tornadoes.   And where do I go?   I travel to the place of fear.   What it comes down to is fear of loss.    Losing the people, places, and things that I love.   That fear leads me away from the faith that everything will work out and that God has a plan.   A plan that He doesn’t like to divulge which is really annoying. My best guess is that He doesn’t share because I would have “thoughts” on how to make it better.  I guess he doesn’t want my input.

The reality is I am powerless.   I can’t be sucked into the hysteria led by the local weathermen.   I can’t allow the scared seven year old inside of me to chisel away at my peace of mind.    By acknowledging my lack of control and comforting my inner child, I can again exhale and simply know that everything is out of my realm of control.  It doesn’t mean I won’t react or project into the future.  It simply means that I acknowledge those feelings and accept my current residence with the mindset that we only have this moment.

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