Finding a caregiver match for my mother is a little like playing a dating game. You go through a series of duds and then hit pay dirt. Unfortunately, our match has been in the hospital for over a week and it doesn’t appear she is coming back. My Mother doesn’t do well with change. Of course, she does her best. I, on the other hand, am literally losing my shit. You see, it is up to me to navigate the system trying to find a good fit. Everyone she has liked is either not available the days she needs or they have a client and were just available this one particular day. It is maddening.
This shouldn’t be that hard, but it is. In the midst of finding the ideal candidate, I have my own life. Deadlines, graduation preparations, blah, blah, blah…..you get the gist. And then I remember the gratitude that I have that my Mother can stay in her own home. That she is pretty self-sufficient and doesn’t need a nighttime caregiver. I have to look at all of the positives because if I don’t, I can easily fall into the rabbit hole.
I am not complaining – okay, maybe a little bit. And yesterday, if you had heard me on the phone with the company that administers those who care for her, you would have been slightly scared. I feel more comfortable knowing that my Mother is being cared for when I can’t do it myself. And honestly, we have both agreed that we would probably kill each other if I were her primary source. Being pulled in twelve different directions doesn’t allow much room for me, so I have to be vigilant in paying attention to what I need too.
Maybe this is God’s way of distracting me from thinking about the upcoming graduation and Bryce’s impending departure. Whatever the case, I am hopeful that we will find the right candidate to care for my Mother. From my lips to God’s ear. Jesus is taking the wheel on this one.