Continuing Education

Our final destination before leaving Florida after our cruise was airport security.   I am always interested in what stories I will be able to tell from the experience.   The lines were not as long as I have seen them in previous times, but there was a wait, well, because of people.  People that – for the love of Jesus – apparently have never flown before.   Two guys in front of us had carry-ons, I kid you not, of snacks.  Snacks that needed to, not only be shown to the agent, but taken out of the carrying case.    It was like these two had a concession stand in their carry-on bags.    Although, later in the day, I wished I had made friends with them because we were getting ready to board and I become quite famished.

One thing I learned is that it isn’t just my knee that likes to spark the interest of the TSA agents, but Mickey Mouse seems to be an attraction.  I was sporting my new shirt that features the famous mouse all spiffed up with sparkly embellishments.   I honestly didn’t think that it would make a difference, but apparently, it drew some attention.  The TSA agent pointed to the screen where the diagram showed that my chest was a point of interest.   Yes, if you would like to be felt up by a complete stranger, wear a “bedazzled” shirt.  And, for the record, the very intimidating agent used the word “bedazzled” which threw me off a bit as I waited for his female counterpart to publicly make sure the girls aren’t disguised as bombs.  She actually snapped her latex gloves and didn’t even steal a snack from the guy in front of me as a thank you.   So rude.

Anyway, I made it through with most of my dignity intact.    I am just hoping that nobody creates a bra bomb because then not only will our shoes come off, but so will our bras.  At that point, I think I will simply drive.

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