Avoidance

I might be in the minority, but shopping makes me cringe.   If I were an undercover agent caught by a malicious group to gain secret information, I would totally break if my punishment were to shop……with crowds of people.  I know that sounds dramatic, but it is my truth and I shall own it.

Yesterday, Bryce and I were on a mission to assist my mother’s caregiver who had experienced a car issue.   We were on our way when she called to inform us that someone had stopped to help and we  were no longer needed.  With nothing else on the agenda, my delightful son suggested we go to Target.   I kid you not, I haven’t been to that container of “things I don’t need but buy them anyway” in at least two years.  Possibly more.  I hear your gasps. Trust me, I spend just as much on Amazon where delivery is to my door and avoidance of people is obtainable.

His objective was to find some games to take with us to the lake and mine was not to see anyone I know.   Let me be clear…….there are always those I love to see but then there are those I take extreme measures to avoid.  Don’t act like ya’ll have never done it. It is practically an American past time.  We gathered some games and navigated the aisles.  I was taking in all the changes since I am not a frequent visitor.  As we headed toward the checkout, I noticed someone I knew coming toward us. Someone that I really don’t care for and making idle chit chat wasn’t on my list of things to do.  Bryce questioned my actions and I innocently said that I might need some additional items.   As a good mom, I don’t want to expose him to my odd habits, so I acted as if I might need some Mucinex.  Thank God it wasn’t the condom aisle or perhaps feminine hygiene.  The child already needs therapy from the oddities of his parental units, so sparing him from the additional weirdness is helpful.

We managed to finally make it to the self-checkout – which wasn’t here the last time I blessed this store with my presence – and quickly scanned the items in an effort to leave before being detected.   I don’t always go shopping in public, but when I do I bring my ninja skills and a keen eye to avoid interaction.   Maybe I should add that to my resume.

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