I know that those that read my blog yesterday could barely sleep last night awaiting the outcome of my non-payment issue. I used Friday as my pause day on this particular situation. My inner Mother Teresa suggested that I simply stop and allow everything to unfold organically. She is way too calm and forgiving. See, I want to be heard, validated, with a simple acknowledgment that they are in the wrong.
Imagine my surprise when I received a chipper email from their accounting department informing me that my check “is in the mail”. What I particularly adore is how the individual constructing said email never signs their name. No accountability. No addressing the lack of communication or the tardiness of my payment. It was as if by not acknowledging their own shortcomings, it simply doesn’t exist. Of course, I sent an email back dripping in sweet sarcasm saying, “Thanks so much! I am thrilled to be paid almost 90 days after publication,”. Probably wasn’t necessary to fire back with my smart ass semantics, but there are times I simply can’t help myself. In my defense, my inner Mother Teresa was at the concession stand during the intermission of my shit show.
And while I should be thrilled about the outcome – which I will believe when the check is in hand – I am bothered by the lack of courtesy by both the accounting department and a person with whom I thought had my back. Whenever I am disappointed in an individual or a circumstance, I need to check whether my expectations were realistic or not. Chances are I expected more than they could provide.
Whether its people or situations, life will always present me with disappointment. But, it is up to me to figure out how this will best serve my continual growth. I can hold onto it, be resentful, and allow it to define me along with tainting my view of the world. Or, quite possibly, be grateful for the experience that teaches me what I am willing or not willing to tolerate. Valuing me takes precedence over everything else.