“This is Allison Jones and I am calling to report a goat on the side of the road. He is very much alive and hanging out at the guardrail a half a mile from the Glendale exit.” This is my very concerned voice sharing my experience with a not so friendly dispatcher with the Kentucky State Police. On my way home from delivering Bryce some items that he needed along with spending money on some “necessities” and buying him lunch, I encountered a goat. Jamming to my playlist and driving a responsible 75 miles per hour, I felt like I had just experienced a mirage. I realized that I must be a steward of humanity and alert someone. Since I didn’t want to endanger myself, I pulled off at the nearest exit and parked at a gas station to complete my civic duty. The gruff voice on the other end seemed annoyed. Maybe he was having a bad day, but I didn’t let that deter me. “Ma’am, we are aware of the goat.” “Oh, well, I am such an animal lover, that I felt the need to call.” I even shared my ultra responsible actions of pulling off the road and parking in order to make the call safely. He was unimpressed and frankly, wasn’t even courteous enough to thank me for calling. Whatever. I might have babbled on and on. Still nothing. So the call ended and I am sure he either took a shot from his flask or laughed it up with his buddies.
As I drove off, I had a nagging feeling that I had heard about this goat prior, so when I got home I googled “goat on I-65” and found several pieces about him as he has been dubbed Houdini. Apparently, he belongs to no one in particular and when animal control is called, he seemingly disappears. Road crews had “adopted” him as he hangs out while working and by some miracle, he doesn’t wander into the road. He even has a Facebook page. Whatever.
I can’t imagine how many calls are fielded by the Kentucky State Police on this particular issue. My suggestion would be to erect a sign saying, “We are aware of the goat, so please don’t call us”, but the state of Kentucky probably can’t afford it. I am not sorry I called on behalf of the lone goat and am grateful I didn’t act on my first idea which was to stop and load him into the car.