Yesterday, I heard someone say, “do what you can, not what other people want you to do”. I love the sentiment and it is so fitting for this time in my life. Of course, I want to be of service to others. Not too much because I might be a little selfish, not a fan of people, and I kind of like to be alone, but other than that I enjoy it. My definition of service is a little different. I might not help build homes for Habitat for Humanity, but I will put my shopping cart back after I unload my items, pay for someone’s meal in the drive-thru line, use my turn signal, allow someone else out into traffic, or perhaps share the link about how the algorithm is not controlled by you sharing and asking your friends to say “hi”. I have been of service a lot on that one. But it is also the sentiment that I can say “no”if something doesn’t work for me and not explain myself. I am currently in treatment for my need to overexplain the reason for declining a request or tweaking it to suit me better.
My internal radar has been on high alert especially in my work arena. Turning down opportunities used to make me breakout in a sweat because I thought if I did that then I was cutting off an income supply. What I am becoming aware of is that if I don’t enjoy the process or if those on the other end aren’t honoring or respecting me, then it isn’t a good fit. The price on my well-being far outweighs the check for my talent.
In my private life, setting those appropriate boundaries of doing what I can versus what someone else is requesting can be tricky. The good news is that I can do it in a loving manner. Well, most days I can do it lovingly, there might be some that catch me when I am not spiritually fit and I sound rather bitchy saying “no”. Shit happens when you are human. The point is, by not overextending myself to fit someone else’s expectations, I am able to be of service in my own way. That is a game changer, my friends. At the end of the day, the only person that I need to be cool with is me and the big guy upstairs.