The Pursuit

Normally, when we are going to our son’s college for a football game, I am in charge of making sure we having everything.  We tailgate with friends, so there is always something extra to bring.  Yesterday, I was kind of checked out and Brian took the initiative.  The only thing I added were the bags on the counter along with the perishable items that were to be stored in the cooler.   

Five minutes into our drive to Bowling Green, I asked if he remembered the chairs.   I already knew the answer.  He offered to turn around, but I felt like that would be a waste of time and we can just buy them when we get there.  Truth be told, we needed some new ones anyway as ours had seen better days. 

We arrive into town and figured that the CVS near Bryce’s dorm would be the ideal spot to purchase our new chairs.  Brian and I split up perusing every aisle.  They had potty chairs, disc chairs, walkers with chairs, but nothing that we could use although the potty chair might have been great in terms of multitasking.   We head to Dollar General where the aisles were littered with crap that reminded me of the show Hoarders, and yet, still no chairs.  Next, we go to Family Dollar because, surely if Dollar General doesn’t have them, then Family Dollar does.  Wrong.  By this time, we are sending Brian in because of the anxious twitch received from being surrounded all the junk at Dollar General.  Family Dollar was again a disappointment, but the cashier did tell Brian to have a “blessed day”.  It will be blessed once we locate some damn chairs.

Our last hope was Walmart.  Of course, we knew they would have them, but it was Walmart for the love of God.   My spouse took one for the team and made his way to the twisted gates of hell.   Wouldn’t you know that the chairs would be on the opposite end of where he entered.   As he is dodging spirited shoppers who are perusing the aisles for beefy jerky and condoms, he finds the holy grail aka chairs.   He grabs three and hustles to the checkout line where he is behind a woman loading up on all the crap that you see near the conveyor belt.   Apparently, she is moved by impulse purchasing.   Hours later – kidding- he loads up the car with our new purchases.   I seriously felt like we were on an episode of The Amazing Race. With the effort put into locating a spot to rest our asses for the day, I can guarantee we will NEVER forget our beloved chairs again.  Or at the very least, I won’t.

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