This week brings “prep week”to the new program that I am trying that will, hopefully, offer a sustainable way to lose the gift that that keeps on giving….my weight.   I signed up for the program in a fit of curiosity mixed with a touch of hope.   This week offers a time to try out some of the exercises and learn the guidelines to eat.

I would be lying if I were to say that I was giddy with excitement.  More like I am annoyed sprinkled with cynicism.   It reminds me when I began my spiritual recovery program after Brian entered recovery for his drinking.   I came in angry and frustrated.  I believed that the fundamentals would result in keeping him sober, but what ended up happening, was the change began with me.  I am approaching this particular event in a similar fashion.   Although, the difference is that I am the primary purpose versus the illusion that I can control someone else’s behavior.

Sometimes word association can deter me. “Prep week” reminds me of the process of getting ready for a colonoscopy.  That experience was most unpleasant, so I am renaming it “jumpstart week”.    I am working on implementing the program in a slow fashion while figuring out what will work for me.   It is a gentle introduction.   If I am bitched slapped by a radical switch, then I will most likely abandon the idea.   

So, I will take each day as they come.  Do the best that I can.  But know that in my next life, I will skip the line for the sparkling personality and head toward the line that offers additional height with an emphasis on not having an issue with weight.   Already planning ahead.

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