Sometimes I despise when my phone rings because I never know if it is going to be a conversation that enlightens me or annoys me. I love caller ID because it gives me the freedom to simply not answer.
The other day, after Bryce’s wisdom teeth removal, I received a call from a number I did not recognize. Per usual, I let it travel to voice mail. Once I was done dealing with Thing 1 (Bryce) and Thing 2 (my spouse) and their respected issues, I listened to the message that was left. It was from a residential community for individuals with special needs where we have had Bailey on a list to eventually (possibly) live. They apparently have an opening in program that would help him learn how to live independently.
My reaction was a blend of “oh shit” and “he isn’t ready”. The “oh shit” would really be about my own fear of him actually leaving our home. The “he isn’t ready” boils down to the reality that he really isn’t ready, in my opinion. This is my son who repeatedly doesn’t go to bed on time despite his work schedule. This is the individual who has his television blaring while listening to music on his headphones. While there are other areas where he is competent and thrives, I just don’t think that this is the right time.
With that being said, I will call and gather more information. We haven’t said anything to him simply because he would be packed and out the door. I realize that he desperately wants that independence. But, he is used to doing his own thing. Friends, he works out in his underwear. He periodically walks around naked. He ignores any attempt to comply to my request to maybe not do those things.
There are a lot of components for us and the timing might not be right. I do want him to have that experience of living on his own. It is a right of passage that he deserves. More will be revealed on this particular subject. In the meantime, I am still going to alleviate his need to be an exhibitionist. It is my gift to the world. Nobody needs to see that.