Let me be honest……I might want to be overly helpful. And by helpful, that means I would LOVE to tell you how to life your live because MY way certainly is so much better than yours. I am a delusional freak. Being helpful is a disguise.
It is a trap for me. You see, I would love to assist my spouse navigate employment options. I drool at the possibility that he will turn over that responsibility to me. Because, if I were in charge, he would have a job by now. Do you see the issue? It is me. Every. Single. Time.
A few weeks ago, my mother and I were having a discussion. Wait, that really isn’t accurate. It was one-sided as my elderly mother shared her definition of being helpful. It sparked discomfort within me. She told me that by being helpful to people she loves, she takes on their problems. I know this firsthand which is why I have made the conscience choice of not oversharing. It becomes her obsession. When I tried to articulate that her expressions of love are in the realm of a controlling nature, she dismissed it. To her, that is her way of expressing love.
If I am so focused on other people, who is keeping tabs on me? Allowing my family and friends to experience their own journey without my influence enables them to figure it out on their own. I mean, seriously, I can’t remember why I walked into a room, so why do I think I can run other people’s lives effectively? Everything in life is in God’s timing. Sure, there are times when I believe that He might need a nudge from me, but I suppose He knows best. His success rate is pretty high and I have not received a text from Him asking for my assistance. That’s too bad, since I have lots of quality ideas.