You Had One Job

I feel like my family, on a good day, is mostly competent. Even if I am not, the rest of them fill in the blanks when I can’t. Yesterday, was one of those days where I wondered if we should really be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

Brian and I ventured to Winn-Dixie yesterday morning to fill the condo with some food. When we got back, Bryce helped Brian unload while I went out to the balcony to enjoy my Starbucks and the background music of the ocean. About 30 minutes later, I walked back into the kitchen where Bryce informed me that there was no toaster. “Dad and I looked everywhere”. That is really code for “there is a toaster but we are too lazy to really look”. Challenge accepted and guess what? I found the flippin’ toaster. Brian jumps in with a resounding “I thought I looked there”. Part of my marriage vows included “I promise to find shit that you claim to look for and are never able to locate”.

After we ate dinner at this beautiful resort that overlooks the ocean, we headed back to the condo for game night. We arrived at the gate where Brian asked Bryce to put in the code. After several attempts of Brian and I repeating the code to Bryce, the gate wouldn’t open. Brian took over and a miracle occurred – the gate opened with ease. Bryce apparently kept pressing the star key instead of the pound key. His response, “Nobody even uses the star key? Why is it there?” Standard keypad, Bryce, standard keypad.

Before we started playing “What Do You Meme”, which by the way, is hilarious, I went to put the clothes in the dryer. I tried everything to turn it on. Brian walked in and did the same things I did, along with resetting the circuit breaker just in case. What both of us missed was the big “START” button on the machine. Once we hit that, the sound of tumbling clothes echoed through the room. At this point, Bailey was the only one of us who had his shit together.

So, what to do we do? We laugh like insane people. We embrace our imperfections and make fun of each other. That’s how we roll. Hopefully, today, we will be more competent, but if not, I will have more material to use. It’s really a win-win for me.

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