Just Another Monday

I will give you two words……dress and opossum. Did that get your attention? Of course, the only relation that they have is that I simply experienced them on just another Monday.

The way I would describe our backyard is simply stating that it is an animal sanctuary. A place where all the little critters commune in harmony. There are times that I am forced to have coming to Jesus chats with the hawks that think our oasis is prime for the next meal. Not on my watch. Anyway, I noticed a very plump Opossum meandering on our deck. It isn’t uncommon, but this one seemed different. He/she, (not sure which and certainly wasn’t going to go and find out), decided to simply lounge there…..for hours. I became obsessed and was certain that there was something wrong. First, I thought maybe if it was a she, and that, quite possibly, there was a pregnancy issue. Of course, I didn’t want to ask because, well, maybe she was pleasantly chunky and happy with her body. If it was a he then maybe he likes rocking his Dad bod. Then I thought well, maybe, it was injured. I got close enough to see blood on its head. It looked dry and it was still breathing. I contacted a wildlife rehab place to inquire what I should do. This was after three hours of his/her presence.

I sent a photo and didn’t hear anything back. Periodically, I would go out and coo at it. Talking sweetly. Don’t even judge me. In my next life, I am coming back as Doctor Dolittle. Anyway, I had to leave to take Bailey to an appointment and told it I would see it later….maybe. I was hoping it would be gone, so I could resume my life. When I returned, I witnessed “Lovey”, as I named him/her, waddling away. That happened as my dress was delivered.

The definition of insanity resides in online shopping for a dress. I despise stores, human interaction, and leaving my house, so online shopping usually fits my needs. So, I unwrapped this precious dress and tried it on. Whoever designed this dress must have had a woman in mind with sagging armpits. Is there such a thing? The dress was sleeveless and exposed more side boob than anyone should ever see. Plus, it puckered in weird places. Hand to God, I have surrendered and will be wearing an adorable dress that is hanging in my closet.

Maybe the Opossum was a sign. Apparently, there are meanings behind each animal. When I Googled “meaning of Opossum”, it came up that seeing one is symbolism “to encourage you to have a strategy whether for your personal relationships or professional ambitions”. Christ on a crack. Maybe he/she was foreshadowing my dress situation or my writing or perhaps it simply liked my deck. Whatever. Hoping today isn’t so symbolic.

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