Ride the Wave

This week has been bumpy. Full of adjustments and random wrenches thrown into my plans. My revisions on my book have been halted while I dealt with ongoing issues with my mother. Her vertigo has been a point of concern as she has been having side effects from the treatments along with the emotional component of anxiety that seems to take her hostage. On top of that, I had to deliver some unfortunate news.

On Thursday, her best friend of 81 years passed away. Let that sink in for a moment. Friends since they were 6. They went to school together, were in each other’s weddings, walked through the births of their children and supported each other during turbulent times. That is quite the journey. The news was delivered by my close friend – our own friendship spans 42 years – who happens to be married to the youngest son of this amazing woman who passed. I wept and then tried to figure out how I deliver this news to my mother.

Let me just say, that my mother is stoic. She hoards her emotions. Stuffing them deep inside so she doesn’t have to deal with the residue. She hasn’t allowed herself to really feel. To walk through grief. I get it. It is uncomfortable. But, in my experience, that is the only way to get to the other side of it.

When I shared the news with her, for a brief moment, I thought she might cry. But, she quickly recovered by directing me to order flowers along with the request to represent the family at the visitation and funeral because she simply can’t go. I wasn’t surprised.

Her friend was a remarkable individual. She was kind, loving, and full of grace. When I had Bailey, she came up and sat with me allowing me to release my fears about his diagnosis of Down syndrome. When I called her about my father’s emergency surgery that resulted in the loss of his leg, she immediately took action by praying the rosary. She had a deep faith. And when she walked into the visitation for my father, I wept in her arms. Her heart encompassed great love and it showed in everything she did. She left a mark on everyone she touched. She lived her life with incredible purpose.

My mother has surrounded herself with the best people. Her friendships have spanned decades and I am so grateful for the example she set for me. That is an incredible gift to give your child. And today, I have this amazing tribe of women who empower me, just like my mother has experienced. It is a powerful legacy that I don’t take for granted.

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