The Art of Ignoring

I live in a home where the individuals have acquired the great talent of ignoring. It really is amazing how talented they are and I really appreciate their commitment. (Cue exaggerated slow clap with my two middle fingers.)

When you have pets, it is understood that you will spend a lot of time cleaning up vomit, pee, and poop. Sometimes, you might even hit the trifecta. (Now, just to be clear, I am excluding Bryce from this blog, since he more aware than the other two males that live here.) On Sunday, as we were driving home from Bowling Green, Bailey sent a text that we had lost power. Makes complete sense since the sun was shining. Anyway, I called him, reassuring him that we were almost home and that he could wait for us upstairs in the living room. (He resides in the basement, and isn’t keen on the dark.) We arrived home to find Bailey hanging out on the couch. About five feet from him was a pile of cat vomit. “Bailey, did you notice that there is cat vomit here?” Honestly, I don’t know why I ask stupid questions. He grins and says, “Yeah, I noticed.” At this point, I am gritting my teeth. “So, why didn’t you clean it up?” Again, asking inane questions that I know the answer to. He shrugs his shoulders and I roll my eyes. We have a discussion about it that I know he ignored. I cleaned it up because well, I just wanted it gone.

Yesterday, I came home as Brian and Bailey were leaving for the pool. Thrilled to have the house to myself, I walked into our bedroom only to find a large pile of dog puke embedded in my area rug. Friends, it’s a shag rug. Let that sink in for a moment. I spent a good chunk (pun intended since there were chunks in the carpet), cleaning it. When Brian got home, I asked if he noticed it. Seriously, I need to stop asking dumb questions. He responded that he didn’t notice anything, and quite possibly he didn’t. I mean, you need to be aware to accomplish that task, and he hasn’t exactly mastered that talent.

I suppose I need to accept my fate. That this is my destiny. I think I will add this to my resume just in case this writing gig doesn’t pan out.

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