The Limb

My breath hitched. I grew anxious as my fate was revealed to me. The thoughts were reeling in my head as to what I was going to do next. Sharing this might help me walk through how I reacted to the situation. Let’s just say, I wasn’t the Dalai Lama.

As I was checking the flight status of Brian’s Dad, the screen of my phone went black. (My heart is beating fast as I share this. This is harder than I thought.) Frantically, I try to restart it, but without the screen it was futile. Scenarios are running through my head along with the reality that I only know about five numbers in my phone. How will I get in touch with Mom’s caregiver? How will anyone get in touch with me? How will I survive without checking Facebook every five minutes? Then Brian says to me, “Stop freaking out. It’s just a phone. I will leave mine with you when I go to work”. What did he just say? I gasped. It was almost as if he said, “it is just an arm” as the doctor cuts my limb off. I might have lost my shit a little bit with that comment. Meanwhile, my spouse tries to google a solution, and a few seconds later, as I regained my composure, I apologized.

I had plans for the day that didn’t include a visit to the Verizon store. He tried several different things and nothing worked. At this point, I am bargaining with God. Begging him to have mercy on me. (Look, I am not proud using the man upstairs for something so trivial, but He gets me.) Then, a miracle happened. The last option that Brian found worked. My phone lit up. My apps were revealed and the angels started to sing the “Hallelujah” chorus.

Yes, I might have an addiction to my phone. The rest of the day, I kept staring at it. Making sure it was okay. It was like it had been in a coma and had just woken up.

Am I proud of my reaction? No. Am I grateful my spouse tolerates me when I lose my shit? Yes. Prior to my phone issue, I had asked him if the pants I was wearing made me look fat. I was joking as I love to watch his face. He responded with the politically correct answer of “nothing makes you look fat” even though his body language indicated he wanted to flee. He’s a good sport.

I feel so much better sharing the traumatic situation that unfolded yesterday. It is therapeutic to be able to admit that the relationship I have with my phone borders on codependency. Don’t worry about me. I am just a girl holding her phone begging it to never leave me again.

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