There is a reason that I stay in my little cocoon writing, reading, and simply being in a state of solitude. That reason is other human beings. They ruin everything. Yesterday, I made the mistake of running errands that resulted in me being in the presence of pesky individuals. It was hideous. My first stop resulted in me being reprimanded. Like a child. In front of other customers. Now, to be fair, I had stretched a 20 minute visit to 40 minutes, but there were other components that were out of my control. The person that I was seeing was late and they were short-staffed. As I was paying, I was told “in the future, please indicate that you have other things to discuss because now we are running behind”. Her tone was, well, bitchy. Because I was a deer in headlights and couldn’t process that I was being scolded, I quickly apologized because I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Of course, the moment I got in the car, I was pissed. Pissed that I didn’t have an amazing comeback that would bring her to her knees. Pissed that I didn’t retort with the fact that she had, in fact, asked me if there were any other issues I wished to discuss, which, in turn, I did share another concern that I had. In my head, I had all of these scalding zingers which ended up coming out of my mouth as I talked to myself while in my car. Yep, this is what dealing with people does to me.
My next stop was going to be my mother’s where I would be dropping off her laundry. I texted her caregiver that I was on my way when I received a response of , “No. Your mother doesn’t want you to do that. I will just come over and get it”. Friends, I was not in the mood for other humans to deter my plan, so I responded back that I was on my way and I would simply leave it at the front door. You see, I knew why my mother responded, “no”. It was because she didn’t want to be disturbed since she likes to sleep late. Just dropping off laundry. Slow your roll. I wasn’t asking for an audience with the Queen of England. Christ. On. A. Cracker.
I ended up having to return to the scene of my first interaction because they had forgotten to give me an item that we had discussed. On my way over, I am praying that there would be an opportunity to have a chat with this woman. To inform her that I don’t appreciate being reprimanded in front of others and to refer to exhibit A, B, and C to prove my point. But, that chance didn’t happen. Probably just as well because I don’t know if I could be kind.
What I know about uncomfortable interactions with others is that it really isn’t about me. People lash out because they are frustrated, hurt, annoyed, well, there are a litany of reasons. Bottom line, I don’t need to engage. I just need to move forward and be grateful of the reminder that people in general suck. That I prefer the company of those in my tribe, my four-legged family members, and my family. The rest of the population is on their own.