I did a thing yesterday. Okay, I did many things, but the biggest thing, was sending my first fifty pages off to the literary agents. It. Was. Amazing. As I pressed send, I felt a sense of relief. Grateful that I actually finished what I started but, most importantly, not allowing self-deprecating talk to deter me. I did this in the midst of accepting that I am currently running a nursing home for aging Basset hounds.
Last week, in one of my blogs, I shared that Presley, our 15-year old Basset was having some neurological issues. We are at the point where we can make her comfortable, but her time is limited. It could be a week or maybe longer, but we are giving her lots of love while we can. It sucks, friends. But, when we adopted her four years ago, after she was owner surrendered, I knew I wouldn’t get the luxury of having her for long. Grateful for the time we have had with her.
Then our 11-year old Basset, Daisy, is being tested for Cushing’s disease. Her urgency to urinate has resulted in lots of accidents in our home. I swear I feel like I should be yelling, “clean up on aisle one” every time it happens. If I can’t get her out quick enough, she simply pees on the floor. Yesterday, my friends at Amazon delivered dog diapers for when we leave the house. Oh, and because Presley is on Prednisone, she too, has an extra abundance of pee. Nice. If you need me, I am over here swimming in dog urine.
I guess my whole point in oversharing, is that despite the sadness of my four-legged family members aging, I haven’t allowed it to distract me. I was able to focus on my manuscript. Fulfilling the goals I have set for myself and understanding that the situation with my dogs is out of my hands. I can’t simply pause my life in anticipation for what lies ahead. Sometimes the best solution for my sadness is to simply focus on all the good that continues to come my way. That keeps me centered. It doesn’t take the grief away, but it does provide a soft place to land.