Breaking Down

Look, I am going to be completely transparent when I tell you, I am breaking down. Like an aging car, my parts are starting to indicate some wear and tear. For years, I have suffered from lower back pain. Diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, many moons ago, I have maintained a lull with any issues until Friday.

I thought it was just a bout of sciatica, which is painful enough, but this was different. This resembled the type of pain I had years ago when I had a herniated disc. Awesome. Diagnosing myself is a gift, and WebMD agrees. (My doctor friends just gasped and shook their heads.) Don’t worry, I will actually go to a certified medical professional for a second opinion.

In the meantime, I am doing self-care. Some light yoga, alternating between heat and ice, along with using a muscle stimulator that provides some relief. Not going to lie, I am in a lot of pain which resulted in bit of an issue yesterday. I had hooked up the muscle thingy and was letting it do its job, when I realized I had to pee. Not wanting to unhook this contraption that has a gazillion wires, I decided I could manage it. Unfortunately, I am a moron. Do you see where this is going? Anyway, I sat down to do my business and peed on myself. Wires were everywhere, so pushing down my pants to a certain level wasn’t obtainable. The end result was me having to unhook myself anyway and change my clothes. It wasn’t one of my finer moments. I know. You can’t unsee the visual that I provided. Do you need some bleach for your eyes? Perhaps go on YouTube and watch some cat videos. I probably should have warned you, but where is the fun in that?

I am optimistic about today and certain that I will not be urinating on myself. At least that is my plan. After cleaning up my furry family members bodily fluids, I really wasn’t planning on my own. This aging process certainly provides me with a boatload of lessons.

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