The Learning Curve

Yesterday, I escaped the stigma of being labeled a murderer. My spouse complied with my wishes. He and his group of merry men will now be doing their recovery work via Zoom. Praise Jesus. The whole process of proving him wrong was exhausting. Kidding. He is used to being wrong, so the world is as it should be even with being quarantined and all.

Let me tell you about my day. I know you all are sitting, in your homes, anxiously waiting. Anyway, while working out, I realized that I have been wearing my ankle weights incorrectly. I wondered why I had to keep tightening them. Turns out I was wearing them on the wrong side. See, open to learning new things. This is what this timeout is doing for me.

Oh, and I am loving Zoom. Just call me a “Zoomer”. Getting more proficient everyday. Yesterday, I hosted a spiritual recovery meeting and fifty-five people participated. It was amazing. Sure, as host I had to figure out how to mute everyone because some people were microwaving their coffee, but I did it. Super proud of me!! This morning, I hung out with some of my tribe members on Zoom. Those bitches are able to change their background. (I think it is because they have iPhones and I have an Android). Anyway, one had the Golden Gate Bridge while the other had an airport or Epcot background. She kept changing it. I, however, could give a clapping or a thumbs up icon which wasn’t nearly as impressive. Brian believes that when this situation is behind us, I will still use Zoom as my way to socialize.

I am convinced that when this is over, NBC will bring back The Biggest Loser: Coronvirus Edition because there are going to be a lot of hefty people. Look, I just ordered Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs through Amazon, so I might be one of the contestants. Kidding. Sort of. I have been pretty good about exercising and following my sustainable lifestyle. Except yesterday where I inhaled three pieces of pizza and a bag of M&Ms. Although, Brian asked this morning if I had lost more weight, so maybe the pizza and candy are metabolism motivators.

And my family, well, there are boundaries being set like Bryce not wanting me to edit his papers, and Bailey telling Brian that he will give him a call when he is ready to watch a movie. I thought this quarantined period voided boundaries. Guess not. So, we are surviving. And, it helps when one of my sweet tribe members delivers a surprise on my porch. It was a bottle of versatile soap called “Flatten the Curve”. Got to keep our humor folks because that will help break up all the other feelings floating around invading our peace.

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