Odds & Ends

There seems to be a good amount of free time floating around us. Sure, there are those that are working from home, but you will still relate to my keen observations. My home is taunting me and, frankly, it is ridiculous.

I am hanging around minding my own business, when I realized that my housekeeper is now working from home. Well, okay, the housekeeper is me and I am not always a reliable employee. I purposely don’t wear my glasses because it gives me the illusion that my house looks amazing. Sure, the others that live with me, do their part, but the vacuuming is all me. I honestly can’t remember the last time that task was completed. Not wearing my glasses has been a wonderful solution.

My thinking is once my manuscript is sent to my editor, I will Marie Kondo the shit out of my house. These are the lies I tell myself. I made the mistake of putting on my glasses the other day in an effort to see something in my front yard. I am nearsighted. Not just a little, but basically, everything is blurry from a distance. After determining that what I saw was a cat not a raccoon, I proceeded to turn around and was greeted by the horror of my home being dirty. Look, I wipe down counters, bathrooms are clean, so I am not a pig, but I thought the rugs were looking pretty plush. That plush appearance, as I determined, was pet hair. Oh, and I suppose I haven’t noticed the tumbleweeds that are rolling around on the floor. I quickly removed my glasses as if they were on fire. Sigh.

On Saturday, I labored. The vacuum was used and it was equally annoyed with me. I guess it assumed it was on some sort of hiatus. Anyway, not only did I remove the pet hair and dirt that had accumulated, but I steam cleaned the kitchen floor as that is another task I avoided.

I felt a bit accomplished, but I have enjoyed my little bubble of denial. It has been an excellent escape from my lack of housekeeping skills. Maybe I will Marie Kundo my house next week, or maybe magical elves will arrive to do it for me. What I do know is that my glasses will be on vacation for the rest of our universal timeout.

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