The Pace

This week has been my reentry into our new reality. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to slowly emerge due to the my mother’s situation. It has been full-throttle all week. Of course, I already had appointments scheduled. Bailey had to go to the orthodontist, along with our haircuts, plus I was staying with my mom and running errands for her. On top of all of that, one of my dearest friends lost her dad, so today we are attending our first funeral during this delightful COVID-19 crisis. I need another quarantine to recover.

Fortunately, my mother’s situation has stabilized. Her new medication seems to be working. With that being said, my brain hasn’t gotten the message, so I have been on high-alert. Waiting for the phone call that she is wandering her neighborhood. Last night, when I called, to remind her to take her medication, she said, “I have been living for 88 years. I know what I am doing”. Jesus, I feel like I was talking to Bailey. He says similar things with a tone laced with annoyance. No one really appreciates my helpful suggestions or reminders. So ungrateful. But, I prefer this version of my mom. She is lucid and is no longer having conversations with people who aren’t there.

Yesterday, I was preparing to watch the historic shuttle launch until it was scrubbed. I looked at Bryce and said, “Is it really a good idea to try this now? I mean, 2020 has been a shit show, maybe they should wait until 2021.” Bryce laughed, but I was serious. This year has been like a montage of horror films. It’s like the universe says, “wait for it” every time we think it can’t get worse.

Friends, these times are tough. I just need to focus on what I am grateful for. I got a haircut. (Praise, Jesus!) My mom is doing much better. And, the best, is that I have nothing scheduled next week. Self-isolation is my self-preservation.

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